Warning, This is going to be an extremely long post.
but i did want to talk about the whole experience and how we all went about with the whole ordeal.
To be honest though, i dont know where to start with the whole thing. So much has happened, so much drama and annoyance and everything else in between.
Okay, so i’ll start with the fact that i didnt want to have a wedding. but i kept contemplating it for a while, i kept thinking that almost all parts of me doesn’t want to have a wedding, (Wedding, not marriage) but the only part of me that does, is the part that keeps thinking “But what if you regret not doing it”. I want my parents to be happy, i want my parents to be able to walk me down the aisle and celebrate together as a family. my family have been so separated, even though we all live under the same roof for so long now, and its so rare to have all 4 of us in the same room at the same time. so i thought when is that was going to ever happen again.
and well, Nathan really wanted to have a wedding. and i guess his opinion had to matter. lol jks jks. it never matters.. hahaha nah. his cool.
but he wanted a wedding, i guess for the same reason.
We had been planning to get married for quite some time now, even before we got engaged. we went out and bought wedding bands, skipping the engagement ring because i told him that it was unnecessary, especially because he hadn’t gotten a job yet, and i was only working a few days a week.
the process of the rings was alright. i already kinda knew the in’s and out’s since its not my first time going ring shopping… its actually my third. lol.
but we needed to see what he wanted, and what would suit him. We went to western places, where the prices are marked up like crazzzyyyyy….
Okay, so i had to dig through all my old receipts to find it all, and then calculated online on how much the average of the types of diamonds i was looking at/what i bought would be valued at.
We ended up going to a place my mum took us, after we discovered that Nathan looks better in yellow gold instead of white, and he also picked out a style he liked too.
We asked if they could make Nathan the ring he wanted, and i just chose something from their display and got it tinier to fit my tiny fingers.
Cost – $800 per ring. much much much happier than paying more than +$1000 for my ring. there wasnt any place that quoted us less than $1k
So, i went to Gregory’s with Dave while we were together, and we looked at rings and diamonds, and i got a quote for a ring.
If everybody doesn’t already know it. i wanted a heart shape ring, with a halo around it and a band with little diamonds on it too.
Similar to this.
the quote read ~ 1.52ct, F colour, IF clarity, Heart shape = $3800
i looked up online for an average price for that. and it was about $1916 – $3925
That price didnt include the band and the extra diamonds. the total ended up being $6600 for 18ct white gold, or $7600 for platinum. Whiiiccchhhh i guess is still wayyyyy better than buying a Tiffany & co ring. cause i went to try those on, and i did not like them at all.
But Nathan and i went to buy our ring at a place in Cabramatta.
0.94ct, F colour, VS clarity, Heart shape = $2800
online prices = $4800 – $9261
Now, the one thing that sets these two diamonds apart, and i guess its a big big issue for resale purposes, is that the diamond i bought isn’t GIA certified.
BUT! it did not bother me at all. it did not bother me that there are tiny inclusions in the diamond that you could kinda see under a microscope. wait.. let me see if i could take a picture of it.
This is the photo i or nathan.. i dont know anymore.. took with our new macro lens.
Not the best photo of a diamond because the diamond needs to be cleaned… but i guess its still alright.
i still dont think you can see the inclusions in this photo. but there is a tiny black triangle, and two tinier dots next to it. it was really hard to take a photo of because the ring isnt cleaned.. lol
But i used nathans thingo to look through it and take a photo of it. best i can do with an iphone for now i guess.
But yeah, so im pretty happy with the rings. they even engraved our names for free. although i was kinda disappointment about that cause the writing wasn’t nice.. and im anal about calligraphy. like, i wouldve paid money to get it written nicely… but its done, i dont want to offend them and tell them to fix it.
Secondly, i guess is the ring box, since its in the photo.
While i was looking on etsy, i found a ringbox i liked, which was this clear glass one. it was kind of expensive, so i left it for a bit, and when i came back to check again, it was no longer available. Eventually, after continuously looking everywhere, online, in stores, thinking about making it myself, another one similar to it popped up on etsy again. so i bought it. I then ordered some artificial moss on ebay and played the waiting game for both items. They arrived, i placed the rings ontop of the moss in the box, and the rings fell straight through to the bottom of the box. so i went and bought florist foam, layered a piece of green felt down first, carved the foam so that there was about 3-4mm space between the edges of the foam and box so that i could put the moss in so that it looks like its a moss cube, then added moss on top and a bit of tacky glue.
Thus, my ring box was ready.
Cost – box = $51. Foam = $2?, moss = $12
So, long story short.. i have a fantasy world, and a story and a whole big imaginary world.. i made up my own little character and whenever i got sad i would pretty much day dream as if i was watching TV. The main character was a girl named Nina, and she was gifted a red heart necklace. Anyways, so ever since i was young, i’ve been in search of this necklace. i just wanted some thing i could look at, or hold onto and know that i was going to be okay. and so i found a few things that looked similar, but it wasnt until we went to vietnam that i found a stone that matched what i wanted, and when we came back here, i got it made into a pendant.
The stone was $60 the pendant was $350 18ct white gold, and the chain for the necklace was $20
This came after the rings and everything else. Again, long story short.
I wanted it recorded because i hoard memories. I believe for me that if i have them on photo or video, that i will remember them forever. because my memory is getting pretty bad these days.
i also wanted to have a balloon theme cause i’ve always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. blah blah blah. cute cheesy shit.
Videographer = $300
Venue hire = $260?
other accessories, = Nathan paid.
My girls are more important to me than my dress, or hair or make up or anything. The thing i’ve always always loved is taking massive group photos, let me find examples.
That was our “Suit up” birthday event. And after all the photos with my cosplay girls, i’ve just loved the idea of dressing up in the same outfits and taking photos.
i’ve always just really wanted a group photo with all the people that have made a significant dent in my life.
im pretty sure people think im crazy for having so many bridesmaids… actually.. crazy for having so many friends…. and its pretty hard, while i was jobless a few years ago, i was still busy everyday because i was just seeing people. now that i have a job, i have to juggle between who im going to see, when im going to see them, and for how long. because my friends and i, we dont just hang out for an hour or two, talk about whats new in our lives, then go home and do whatever. We will sit there for agessss, and chit chat about everything and anything. i use to do 3 different outings in one day just to be able to see everybody. then i had the hobbies i was into, that took up a lot of time, and the people i was dating who i guess i needed to spend time with lol.
but it was tough, and i guess now that everybody is getting older, and that i also plan to have kids, its only going to get tougher to see people.
But alas, i have a lot of people i trust, that i can depend on, that i know will be there for me when times are rough. i know that they take what i have to say as something of value, and respect my opinions and also always calls me out on my shit, and tells me when i am being unreasonable.
They are not fake. They are all different. but the thing i know are all the same are that they all have hearts of gold, and they all are strong women, people i can look up to in completely different aspects in life. Some are amazing mothers, some are amazing workers, etc etc etc.
Anyways. i also wanted them to wear white.
WHICH! for some reason, gives peoples the shits. i dont know why??? its not their wedding! but mann.. people have opinions on things that dont relate to them at all.
When i went with Tina to look for her dress for her wedding, Tina told me to try on dresses too since i was also going to get married at the time, so i tried on an ivory dress, and asked the shop assistant if there were any white bridesmaid dresses, and she just got all bitchy and said “No one has white bridesmaids”, she then went on about how im going to look “dirty” in ivory while the girls wore white, that no bride wants their moment stolen by girls wearing white. She was wayyyy too opinionated on something that wasnt her business.
But a lot of people asked my why i ended up choosing white. Well, actually, i didnt end up choosing it, it was my choice before i even knew i was going to get married. I told most of the people that asked that i had gone to a wedding once, and all the brides friends was wearing white, and everybody just looked so good in it, and i really liked it.
another reason was well, to me, white was just an angelic colour, and thats how i saw these girls in my life, they had one way or another saved me from myself, and all the negativity that i had gone through. You know that moment, when the bride walks in and the husband sees her for the first time, and she has this beauty, and purity? or like.. that glow, a simple beauty, thats what i see in all of them. plus, white worked with everybody!
i did however choose mint for Ajay and Lana cause they are my odd balls.
So the dresses i originally wanted was a one shoulder maxi dress. But i could not find any places with the dress i wanted, i also did not want to make that many dresses.. and when i did find a dress i liked, it was way too expensive.
i somehow stumbled upon the infinity dresses, and thought, well.. you know what… i don’t need to measure anybody then! it was all free-sized! How convenient. i had messaged the seller about the dresses while i was with Dave, but i never got back to her because Dave and i were no longer getting married.
But i looked around again because there were more people selling the dresses, but ended up going with the same seller i had originally talked to, and saved up enough money to buy the dresses with my money before Nathan and i joined bank accounts.
thats the picture i drew while i was with Dave, that was what my plan was.
This was my reality.
What a dream!!
Anyways, So this is going to take a long frikin time, but i want to thank each girl, and tell everybody why they are there.
Left to right. And im going to skip through a few things because i feel like i’ve been through so many ups’ and downs with each girl, they’ve all been there through my rough times, and i was there through theirs, etc etc etc. so i’ll just talk about the unique stuff.
Ajay, She has been my longest friend, we started our friendship off when she wasnt even in school yet. as the years have gone by, and we each grow up, i think that our opinions and our mind sets have completely changed that we arent on the same level with things, but thats what happens, but that also isnt a bad thing at all.. it just means that our friendship has stood through all these changes, us being such different people now, and yet, how love and respect for each other still continues to be strong. Ajay really has been there for me, in moments where all i needed was just to complain about the smallest things that made me feel important. she has always made me feel like i had a companion for life.
Tina, like a lot of my friends actually, i wasnt friends with Tina to start off with, we were friends through friends, but then bonded when we had class together in high school. she had always stood up for me, always verbally, and i know if it ever came up, she would physically do it too. I use to just pop by to her place when she lived closer and we would just sit in her study and talk about boys. There were moments in our friendship where i felt like i was someone she could rely on, when she had gotten car troubles and needed a lift, i know its nothing to brag about, but i was really happy to be that person that she could count on. I know she trusts me in those moments, and i know i can always rely on her if i ever needed anything as well.
Sheila, I dont get to see sheila now as much as i’d like to, i know our friendship could be more than what it is now, but regardless of that, what we do have is quite amazing still. She was the girl i would love to introduce to my friends, the person i knew would get a long with everybody. She is open, and bubbly, and just so sweet. i’ve seen her grow and become her own person, and its just so nice to see someone take control of their lives, mixing in pleasure and responsibilities and living life to its fullest and not holding back. I admire how fearless she is, and its what i want to have more of for myself.
Brittaney, from the moment i met her properly i knew she was a keeper, Nathan would always tell me that he would love for her to be in a bridesmaid, and we’re both so glad shes there. We havent been friends for so long, i think the shortest friendship within the group of girls, but just as important than everybody else there. Brittaney has been the person who came up to me and asked me if i needed anything, and someone i relied on a lot for the process of the wedding organising, and was completely on point with everything she helped us with.
Courtney, Our friendship started off so oddly, cause we knew of each other for sooo long, but never thought to actually meet each other properly and get to know each other because when we did, we found out that we were both secretly into the same things, at that time, we were both getting into cosplay, we were both reading the same comic books, (but i was reading the old school ones while she was reading the reboot) and we were both studying at uni online. Courtney has been the one i could be weird with, that no matter what i told her, she did not judge me, and laughed along with every weird thing i said, sometimes you just need a break from being normal, and just be weird with someone.
Linda, i heard sooo much about Linda from Jerin, and i was a little jealous at first because Jerin spoke sooo highly of her. but when i met her and got to know her, i fell in love with her instantly. She is so pure, and so sweet, there is this meme/quote i always see and it reminds me of her so much. that “One day, somebody would be so incredibly lucky to have you”, and i completely believe it. She has such a soft gentle heart, and shes so cute and quirky on the outside that its just so hard not to love her.
Shirley, my primary school bff, We had these teddybears, and they were best friends too. and our teddy bears would write each other letters, and all sorts of childish things. We were attached at the hip at some point in primary school. Shirley is the most talented person i know, She can pick up anything and master it. Not only is she creative, but she is soooo smart, but at the same time, shes so down to earth too and equally as quirky as everybody else. im so glad that our friendship stood through all of our different milestones, our different paths and mindsets.
Kyleen, i wasn’t the closest to Kyleen in high school as i am now, but i am so happy with how our friendship has blossomed. There was this moment we had one time in the car, where she talked about how much she loved her partner Roland, and she just started to get teary and cried. This was while i was with Dave, and at that moment, i knew i wanted what she had, she was talking about how good he was to her, and how good of a father he was.. and she was so lucky to have him. i thought it was beautiful. The thing i think with Kyleen is that people only see her as a mother of two, but they dont see what a truly wonderful person she is, how hard working and how good she is as a mother, partner and a friend. And i am so lucky to be able to watch her grow from a high schooler to everything she is today.
Jerin, We were best friends at the end of primary school, she was taller than me, and had short boy hair, but after primary school ended, everything ended with it. I ended up finding her on facebook, but i was so scared to add her for soo long, because i stalked her, and she had blossomed sooo beautifully, like, i would show people and say “DO YOU REMEMBER HER!! LOOK AT HER NOW!!! HOW PRETTY IS SHE!!!”, eventually i added her, but we didnt talk until she saw some of my cosplay photos, and we rekindled after that, and she has been a big part of my life since. The thing i am most thankful of, and will never forget it is that when Nathan was struggling on trying to find a job, and Jerin, without any other thought, came over and helped him re-write his resume and helped him with interview questions, it was so selfless, it did not benefit her in any way or form, and i wasnt even there? and when i asked her, she simply just said, “i knew you needed it”. Buts its those little things like that that i am so thankful of.
Annie, I met her when she was about 15? and she had such an intimidating vibe to her, but she was always nice and open, and always talked to me. But it wasnt until Dave and i broke up that she and i connected properly. She had gone through the same thing, and asked me if i wanted to join her on her trip to get away from it all, but at the time, i think i was already okay, i had already moved on with Nathan. but i went along because woo holiday!! but, they do say that holidays either make or break relationships, and i believe that that little trip changed the dynamic of our friendship in such a positive way. It was really nice to have someone walk with me through life, knowing what I’ve experienced, having been there herself, together we were able to get through to the other side alive.
Kim, I always admired how sweet she was, the way her mind works. when i met her till now, when i ask the same questions to her and to other people, her responses would always surprise me, because i had this belief that people were all assholes, then there was her, who no matter the circumstances, was always trying to think of the positives towards each situation she was in, or hypothetically in. it was a reminder that not everybody were assholes, and mainly that i was just hanging with the wrong people, that i needed more people like her in my life, and now i am surrounded by them. Kim has always put others before her selves, the type of person who would buy somebody a new dress for their birthday, while wearing something that was old and tattered, but doesnt even see how wonderful she really is, that those small things she does selflessly is so special. but thats why i love her.
Anya and i started off being friends because we shared similar interests, but as the years went on, and things change within the both of us and we become people completely opposite to each other, the thing that didnt change was the mutual friendship & love we have for each other. I admire everything shes done to be where she is today, she has accomplished so much, and proves that women can be anything they want to be, shes so strong willed, and firm, and its really nice to see someone who knows exactly what they want, and not just knowing, but getting it too. When Dave and i broke up, she came by to check up on me, she brought me food, vitamins and anything she knew would help me feel better, when i was broke, she didnt hesitate to take me out and pay for my meals without questioning when i could pay her back, i tell everybody that she has a sweet spot for me.
Debbi and i weren’t friends in high school, I stereotyped her as one of those “popular mean girls” but i was soooo wrong. I actually cant remember how we started talking again, but we did, and i was absolutely wrong about her, she is not the perfect person i thought she was in high school, she was flawed, and it humanized her for me, it made me understand that i shouldn’t fit people into labels, that i shouldn’t judge someone negatively because i thought they had everything. And i was so wrong to judge her for all that i did, but i am so glad to be able to see this side of her that everybody close to her gets to see. now, shes someone i can go to for advise, she is so wise and strong, and at the same time, she is super nice too. Her and her family makes me feel like i have family here in Australia, because for such a long time, i always thought that our family was alone.
Hairly and i became friends so randomly too. Kerrie and her had stopped being friends, and one day, Hairly pops up in my chats explaining to me what happened between their friendship, it took me by surprise but it was it was such a great start to something greater. I’ve gotten to know her and her family throughout the years and im so happy to have them all in my life. Hairly and i always related with the fact that we came from families that werent well off, and just watching the hard work shes put into everything shes done because of that; made me so proud to know her. she was working full time, studying online full time, has her own cakepop business, as well as maintaining a good family and relationship all at the same time, shes just such a trooper. Her mum buys me little gifts from overseas whenever she goes and it makes me feel so special, because i didnt expect them, but they too feel like family to me 🙂 We’ve been through every milestones together.
Beryl and i have an 8 year age gap, but any time im with her, i never think of that gap, i never see myself as that much older than she is. When she was younger, like much much younger, i didnt like her cause one time i was over her place, she was teasing me and another girl i was with lol. so i had such a weird impression of her, but she came over to help make some cake pops once, and our friendship blossomed since. Watching her go through her live and her struggles makes me wish i had friends like her when i was her age, she is so mature and so silly at the same time, she puts a smile on anyone faces, and is so understanding as well.
Gillian, my first wife, we got married in high school, i remember when i was depressed and wanted to kill myself, i would call her and she would be on the phone with me, even though none of us were talking, just knowing she was there. Whenever i had something i needed someone to listen to, i would talk to her, or email her, telling her how my life is going even though i knew it wasnt something she believed in. I think one of the biggest moments was when i told her that i couldnt handle it anymore, and that i was thinking about going back on anti-depressants, and she told me that together, we will try to find a way where i wouldnt need to do that, and i thought about it for a while, thinking that if she believes i can do it then i can believe that too. Everytime i had asked her for advise on anything, she gives me something i hadnt thought about before, and at the beginning, i never really believed or understood what she was telling me, but when i open my mind to it, i realised the warmth in her answers, in how she lives her life and thats the person i want to be like.
Neaw, She is so sweet and wonderful, we’d use to walk to Cabramatta together, after rock climbing or playing badminton, and have vegetarian food. I’m not sure what to say about her that isnt what the other girls are like too, she is so nice, so generous, and selfless. I think the thing that was different was that after Dave and i broke up, i asked her if she could check up on Dave and see that he was okay, and she did. That she doesnt judge a person from their mistakes, or take sides when they arent bad people. Shes has always been so thoughtful and just saying shes “nice” is an understatement, Shes sooo nice, and i always feel like im being spoiled by her. Im so happy we got to have the friendship we did, and i miss working with her heaps.
Jess, I only got to really know her this year, but regardless of that, i knew already how amazing she was. She had accomplished so much on her own, the type of person you see where you think “how the hell did she do it!?”. She is proof that you can do it all, be a mum, maintain a hot bod, have a great relationship, study and work as a corporate women, now she also has a house to her name and shes younger than me! She didnt let anything put her down, or stop her from where she wanted to be, she didnt let the negativity from her past ruin her or become a bad person. I know i havnet been able to know more of her yet, but we’ve got the rest of our lives to talk about everything 🙂 what i do know of her is enough to know i love her and everything shes done for me.
Lana is my everything. She is my little sister, my best friend, my daughter. I was always so over-protective of her, and so stubborn to the thought that she was growing up regardless of me helping her through it or not, it was such a hard concept to get a grasp of because i was there buying her birthday cakes when she was younger, taking her and ajay out to the city because they had never been, and taking her overseas, and all those things, but now, she can do everything on her own, and it took me such a long time to be able to take a step back, and admire what she has accomplished and how brilliant she is. Lana is probably the person that knows me better than anyone else knows me. One time, i was talking to her about my imaginary character Nina and Matt, And i asked her “if they could be animals, what animals would they be?” and i typed my answer up anyways cause i never let people finish, but she beat me to it, and answered the exact same answer i wrote. She knew what the spirit animal to my fake characters were going to be, like, thats how well she knows me. She is my other half and one of the best things thats ever happened to me.
That was a little overwhelming to write, I’m just so happy to have these people in my life, to watch their stories, to see their happiness, and be there when they arent.. im just so happy that not only did i find and marry such a wonderful guy, but that i was able to celebrate that day with everybody i love, because to me, my wedding wasnt about just me and the person i was going to marry, it was about the people who had gotten me to that point that i was going to marry someone.
These people have always seen the best in me, especially when i couldnt see it in myself, and they believe i could be better than i thought i ever could.
i had a few other people in my bridal party that didnt end up being there. but im still happy regardless 🙂
Dresses total: $1,794.49AUS for 22 dresses including shipping, shipping was like $300.
so it ended up being $81.50 per dress, which is not too shabby.
i ended up necklaces cause i didnt want to make them again. $28 for 20, and a bunch of hairclips on ebay, but cause ebay doesnt keep records after a few months, lets say the total for that was about $60, i know i didnt spend too much though. i also bought wrist corsages while i was with Dave, which was $67 for 17
Thinking of a theme was hard, Thinking of the location for us was pretty hard because Nathan is from a different state, and i dont give many shits about where im getting married, With Dave i wanted the ceremony at a local park cause it was nice enough, and cheaper. With Nathan, i literally didnt know. cause i didnt care where we got married. It wasnt until Kimmy posted up photos of a wedding she went to at Auburn botanical gardens that i knew i wanted to have it there.
(Kim Chau’s photos)
For the reception, well, my mum was soo fussy, saying that her friends care where we had it, so i had to follow what she wanted. We ended up with the “International restaurant” in Canley vale because everywhere else was booked out already, and we booked a year in advance. But it was okay, because our friend Hang had a wedding there and it was pretty nice anyways.
Ceremony – Aurburn: $1243
Reception – International: $860 per table of 10 people. 25 tables.
And for the tea ceremony, i wanted to renovate the house so it would be at least a bit presentable, and we did quite well actually.
Renovations = $1732
I went to look at a few flower places with Neaw and Jerin separately when they were planning their weddings, the places i really liked were the fake flowers. When i was younger, i hated the concept of flowers because they died, it was a waste of money, but i can appreciate their beauty now, but i still do believe in versatility and keep sake. So i wanted something i could keep, but also something i could use if i needed to for our photography business.
So i decided to make my own bouquets.
My bouquets = $80 (estimate)
Lana and Ajays = $12 each
All the other flowers = $200 including the flowers for the flower crown.
Decorator & Music.
I’ll squeesh in all the things that were recommended to us by friends.
Decorator, Jerin suggested going with a decorator that specialises in Indian weddings because they will do a big job for a small cost. And its true, what we ended up getting was quite cheap. I ordered for the ceremony, 35 Tiffany chairs, two flowerballs and urns, a red runner carpet, a cherry blossom arch, and an easel.
Everything was perfect besides the easel, it came late and too short.
Too short! Cant selfie!!! 😦
and for the reception, i got a cherry blossom tree and a love seat.
The tree was much much bigger than i thought it would be, which was awesome. and the seat was just right.
i might make this into a few different posts. cause man its hella long already.
To be continued.